


Tainted

by mithrel



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Blanket Permission, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Depression, Gen, M/M, Not Happy, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-14 11:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s covered in black sludge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tainted

He’s covered in black sludge. It’s invisible, but he knows it’s there coating him, trailing in his wake.

The worst thing is that the sludge infects other people. His parents, his brother, Trick Shot…so he learns to stay on his own and not trust anyone.

But that doesn’t help, since the ooze remains, whispering to him, telling him he’s useless and unlovable, that he deserves whatever he gets.

Then he meets Phil Coulson. The guy is frighteningly competent, and Clint finds himself agreeing to join these SHIELD people almost before he thinks about it.

The first time he hears Coulson’s “Good job, Hawkeye,” echoing in his ear after an op, he freezes, because no, he doesn’t _do_ a good job, he’s useless.

But he learns Coulson never says anything he doesn’t mean, and he learns to treasure the rare compliments.

And Coulson is even more amazing, because the sludge _doesn’t stick to him._ He’s not affected by it, like everyone else is.

And slowly, as he works with Coulson, Clint feels the sludge thinning, evaporating, falling away, until he doesn’t have to squint to see through it.

And then he meets Loki and the sludge is back, all the memories and old thoughts he’d tried to suppress coming to the fore again.

Natasha brings him out of it, bless her, and they manage to get Loki off the Helicarrier, and it seems like he didn’t screw up for once.

Then Fury tells him that Coulson’s gone, gone because he wasn’t there to watch his back.

Phil wasn’t immune after all.

The darkness sinks through his skin and consumes his heart.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Tainted (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3146717) by [VeegiDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeegiDawn/pseuds/VeegiDawn)




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